Itching Like Crazy and Seventy-three Screwdrivers

Hi All,
Well, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. If finally got a comment on my blog (thanks Paula) so I have been inspired to keep writing in case I actually do have some readers out there :)
I am itching like crazy as I blog (eczema).

A couple of weeks ago I left my new job for an afternoon appt with one of my favorite people to sit and talk with, Dr. Gregory. He is the best psychiatrist in the whole wide world. He's my age (35-36 or so) and isn't jaded yet. He has empathy and seems to take his hypocratic oath seriously...he actually sits and listens and agrees to counsel people if they want him to do so. He doesn't just write a script and send you on your merry way. I was scheduled for an hour session and boy did I need it. I was wound up like a string of Christmas lights with a bad fuse.

As I sat and talked with him about all the craziness in my life (related to my mom and new, very demanding, job) the tears came pouring out as I confessed that TO TOP EVERYTHING OFF, I had what I thought was a staff infection on my right boob from scratching too much and I was having to treat it with some of my dog's old medicine because I didn't have time to go to the dermatologist. I then told him, in tears, "and I don't care what you say...I'm also still having trouble with my words and thinking of the one I want to say!! It is embarrassing." He has been trying to tell me it's stress for months. Finally, after months of treatment, he agreed to let me try some ADD medicine. I remember asking about it several times in the beginning, but he was thinking he never prescribed it because he needed to try and see if my issues woudl be solved by ridding me of the anxiety.

Folks, I began this blessed drug (Adderall) on Wed of last week and I feel so much calmer. I was euphoric at first. After the first 5mg pill (actually a 10 that I broke in 1/2) I was drying my hair and I thought, "Wow, this is the most efficient method I've ever used to dry my hair in my life!" Then I went on to think of a soltn. to a prob at work. By the time my hair was dried and styled I was feeling pretty confident and in control. Over the next few days I lost 3-4 lbs. Yay! That has sort of waned off now...good, bc I know it is unhealthy to take it off too soon. It is a nice side effect, though of taking a stimulant. Anyhew...since I began this drug I have accomplished some things I never thought I could do. I taught myself SwishMax software, am learning all about javascript, getting my elearning to successfully interface with Moodle, helped my mom drive to her house (hour away) and gather the last of all her most treasured belongings, got the two dogs fixed (thank you, God, bc one had like a 3 week period), sat in week long training at work and actually comprehended some really difficult medical/technical stuff, mailed off things I promised that I would, and began a regular face washing routine. And, best, I am not having as much difficulty with word recall.

As far as my mother and I go, I have been having some trouble lately keeping a super nice, calm attitude. While gathering Mom's belongings we didnt want sold at the upcoming estate sale, I got irritated last Saturday. I was supposed to have everything sorted out and had cleaned for hours and hours on Mom's house (with no help from my brother who lives near her, of course). She just kept wandering and wandering around getting distracted by this and that. I was in a hurry to save her stuff ....I had promised my sisterinlaw I'd have it all sorted before she arrived with estate sale guy. I kept saying, "Mom, if it's not in the front hall by X time, then it'll get sold. Stay focused. We can go down memory lane when we get home to our house." She did buckle down and help...but she was sorting through papers which I had explained we could take and sort through later. Then, she made coffee and grabbed dirty mug off the counter (that had been sitting there for about a month) and barely moved it under a stream of cold water. When I saw she was actually going to drink out of it, I stopped her and told her that was nasty. I felt like I was scolding a child. For the most part, I try really hard to preserve her dignity, but I am sick and tired of beating around the bush about her hygeine!! I told her, "Look Mom, I didn't want to tell you this, but people with Pick's Disease often DIE of pneumonia and they get it from germs and doing things like what you just about did. You have GOT TO BE MORE CLEAN!!!!" I don't know if she actually believed me about catching pneumonia from drinking out of old coffee cups or not...hell, I dont' know if that part is true -but I was hoping I put enough of an impression in her brain that she starts to think about being a cleaner person. Week before last we kept finding old maxipads she had taken off the dog and just laid here and there throught out the house. Of course, my husband about died.

I went through her closet and she had sweaters of mine that I wore in 8th grade....I am now 36. At my home (her new home) later, I helped convince her to get rid of a few items by getting some cute, but too small, items out of my own closet and asking her if she wanted to trade items for one. I told her it was up to her, but if she could bring herself to get rid of 3 things, she could have the cute shirt. This worked with 2 new items. She then through up her arms and said, "No more."

Most of the day was spent going through her tools. We already have like 73 screwdrivers of our own bc my husband I both enjoy woodworking, but she kept wanting to add hers too the pile. I would have said "yes" except I was already letting her keep like 90 other tools. Of course the across the street neighbor came over during all this (a southern genteel like lady who, unfortunately, now has a colostamy bag). She's sweet but I get uncomfortable when I hear the that bag of hers go off...it sounds like a large fart. I told her I knew I looked like mean daughter, but I just didn't have room for all the stuff at my tiny house. I said this as I carried 2 more toolboxes full of tools to the trunk of my car to take anyway. OK, I'm tired of writing about all the cleaning stories....moving on to happier topics....

All in all, we had some good talks while cleaning out her old house. We also had some moments where we both got tickled and couldnt' stop laughing. I told her about the psych. and the dog medicine. The doc had thrown up his hands and said, "Let's get something straight, your life IS stressful right now...so it is normal you have the feelings you do." Well, when I began to tell mom the story, I threw my hands up like Richard Nixon and imitated the dr with "Let's get something straight, you are --" Mom then finished my sentence with the words, "not an animal." At that point she began laughing hysterically and so did I. It felt like old times. Oh, how I itch for those old times!!!

Good night all. OH, PS, I found Walter's temporary crown just lying in the living room floor at my Mom's old house. It's like he just threw it on the floor at one point or somthing. It was in the middle of a bunch of furniture, bird seed, craft items, clothing, and other sundry items I had to clear out of the room. I shoudl have taken pics of that house! (If you don't know who Walter is, read my post called Birth of My Blog.)